Knowing Your Child’s Development Can Help You During the Pandemic

Knowing Your Child’s Development Can Help You During the Pandemic

by | Sep 18, 2020 | Development, Parenting | 0 comments

PANDEMIC CHECK-IN

Hi guys. This newsletter is coming to you directly from Dr. Alyssa Honda.

Alright. So the stay-at-home order was extended. One week left to go…I hope.

How are you doing? Still going crazy trying to juggle your tasks of work while taking care of your child? Your child going crazy? Let us help.

Remember, our advice below is not one size fits all.  We understand that what works for one may not work for another. Feel free to tweak it to make it work for you and your family. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask!
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Can Help You Take Care of Them During This Time

One of my favorite things about being a Pediatrician is checking in to see how your child is developing. We look at different developmental milestones such as gross motor, fine motor (as demonstrated by Wren on our Instagram. Check it out!), language/communication, social/emotional, and problem-solving.

Today I want to share with you the different milestones of social/emotional development from infant to young adult AND provide a few helpful tips to take this information and find ways to help your child during these difficult times.

Infants

Social-Emotional Development:

Yep. Boss baby. They will require ALL of your attention. Their brain is always developing! There is so much growth during this time. Here are some of the things you’ll see them do:

  • Social smile at 2 months
  • Stranger anxiety at 6 months
  • Separation anxiety at 9 months

Activities that help during the pandemic:

  • Bond with your infant as much as possible. The benefits of bonding start from the moment they’re born.
  • Some parents like to use a carrier to help multitask. This offers time for infant bonding AND availability to still type or write. [Aside: There is a correct, safe way to use an infant carrier. Please text us if you need a refresher or have questions!]
  • If baby falls asleep, make sure they’re safe. Back to sleep!
  • Talk, read, and sing to them! If you like to sing while working (like I do, despite my poor talent), then sing to your baby. Anything to promote bonding.

Toddlers (age 1-2)

Social-Emotional Development:

  • Try to become more independent (but not quite like a teenager). This explains their temper tantrums.
  • Love to parallel play. This means they play next to each other, not with each other. Does not know how to share just yet.

Activities that help during the pandemic:

  • Have multiple activity options during the day. They will NOT pay attention during virtual learning. Have alternate options when they are distracted.
  • Check out one of our prior newsletters by Dr. Waipa that discusses how to deal with temper tantrums.
  • While working at home, sit next to your child. This could mimic parallel play.

Preschool (age 3-4)

Social-Emotional Development:

  • Continues to learn how to play with other children and starts learning how to share
  • Short attention span
  • Will start to show more of their emotions
  • Still loves to impress

Activities that help during the pandemic:

  • Allow your children to play next to one another. Remember difficulty with sharing at some ages.
  • Provide encouragement. “That’s a beautiful drawing” might encourage them to draw more. That’s 3-5 more minutes to help you finish your work task. 🙂

School-aged (Elementary)

Social-Emotional Development:

  • Will try to gain more of their independence
  • Still needs structure
  • Starts to understand more emotions and feelings

Activities that help during the pandemic:

  • Routine, routine, routine (There it is again. I know I’ve said it in two newsletters now, but it’s still sooooo important).
  • Create a schedule. Let them know when it’s mommy or daddy’s time to work.
  • Offer them a choice between two activities. This will help them gain the independence they’re seeking. They can do this activity while you work.

Early Adolescence (10-13yo)

Social-Emotional Development:

  • These kids have more concrete thinking. What does that mean? They tend to think things are either black or white. (I wish, early teen, I wish).
  • Start to think more about themselves
  • Want increased independence
  • Think of the now and not much about the future
  • Might have dissatisfaction with their appearance
  • Rely on their peers more than their parents 

Activities that help during the pandemic:

  • Keep a schedule. Reinforce limits. Teens LOVE to stay up late, watch TV, sleep in (as long as possible), constantly be on their phone. Yes, they’re not physically going to school, but that doesn’t mean the structure needs to stop.
  • Help your teen find ways to stay connected with their friends. We usually recommend limited screen time but during times of COVID, that’s close to impossible. We understand. It’s okay to reward your teen with social media time or zoom. They crave time with their peers so figuring out how to spend time with them is important for their development.   
  • Validate their feelings.
  • Remember the amount of influence social media may have on appearance. Be cautious of this.

Middle Adolescence (age 14-17)

Social-Emotional Development:

  • Become interested in romantic relationships
  • Continue to try to gain more independence
  • Still concerned about their appearance
  • Start to have abstract thoughts (“the big picture thinking”). However, this is still not their strong suit
  • Feel as though they’re immortal, which may lead to impulsive and risky behaviors

Activities that help during the pandemic:

  • Set goals. The fact that they start to acquire abstract thinking means that they can try to start thinking about their future. They just need help getting started.
  • This is the time for SATs, college applications, and job interview practice. Help them prepare for this important time in their lives. Be on the alert. Many colleges and programs are doing virtual tours/“Get to know us.” It’s not the same, but hey, you get to save money on a flight.

Late Adolescence (age 18-21)

Social-Emotional Development:

  • Better risk-benefit thoughts
  • Able to think of consequences
  • However, impulsivity may still be present, as the frontal lobe of the brain still matures well into the 20s (remember?)
  • Individual relationships become more important than peers. Will start hanging out with their boyfriend or girlfriend more than their friends.
  • Start to seek parental advice again … YAY!

Activities that help during the pandemic:

  • Establish expectations. They will likely want their privacy. Facetime, text, messaging via social media, zoom, etc will often be their method of communicating with their friends, boyfriend or girlfriend.
  • Have a conversation with your teen regarding expectations and limitations regarding dating, social media communications. LISTEN AND VALIDATE. Develop a plan together. They’ll be more open to sharing information with you.
  • Keep in mind that the pandemic has impacted many events (i.e prom, banquets, graduation, family celebrations). Could you imagine if you didn’t get to have those milestone events as part of your high school experience? Keep this in mind if they’re going through a difficult time.

 

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